ALONE IN A SEA OF PEOPLE

Have you ever noticed, when the chips are down and life is throwing you those curve balls, as it is apt to do, that it doesn't matter how many people are around supporting you, you still feel extremely alone?

I have been blessed to have met and been supported by girlfriends, who have stood by me and supported me and my kids,(stick that phrase up your arse PG) never judging, ready with a cup of tea, a hug, and an ear, and yet there is always a part of ourselves that we can't share. We are ultimately alone, in a sea of people.

It is very rare, that we ever, in a lifetime meet someone that we are completely open with; many of us are raw with emotions, scarred by events, that we are too vulnerable to share with others, unless we are blessed to find that one person who seems to be able to see into our soul and understand the scratches and healing on our spirit. If you are lucky to find that, and I believe that some people do, and then it is lost, all the scars, all the wounds, all the emotions, all the pain, all the hurt is twofold, and you are left wondering about your own stupidity in trusting another person with your inner most thoughts and feelings; and once again you are alone in a sea of people.

The purpose of this blog is for me to sort things out in my mind, my heart and my soul. I am sharing an inner piece of me, things about me that you might not know, but none the less they are my things to sort out. Your support and comments are welcome, your judgement not. I have had a very difficult 8 years, my emotions have not stopped for 8 years, possibly a bit longer, and now I need to find me, because I am no longer a daughter, I am no longer a lover, I am no longer the mother of little children, I am starting on another new road, alone in a sea of people, and I am scared stiff