WHERE HAS THE MONTH GONE?

It has been just over a month since my last blog, I just don't know where the time has gone. In that month, Gibbzy is in a new home, Kaz's mum has had a few health issues, Kez has been in Malta, Easter has happened, Anzac day has happened and I have started at MAPU.

It is truly amazing when you are writing a blog to look back and see how you were feeling at a particular time, and I know that I have been very open and honest about a lot of my feelings over the last year and a half and to all those wonderful people who have simply read, supported and loved me all the same, thank you. There are definately times in your life when you just need to off load whatever it is that is going around and around in your head and heart and that which is also so very capable of driving you insane, or perhaps to do things that you shouldn't.

Emotionally I feel that I am in a much better place. I am loving my work, it is rapid and dynamic and my head is swimming every day with new information and things to learn. My scuba diving course is still there, bubbling away, I haven't had the opportunity to concentrate on the study yet and I want to be able to give that my full attention so at this stage, it appears that June may be the big month.



As I am finding out about my life, it took another turn, virtually out of my hands as was the diving when I asked a friend, Greg to give me a quote to convert the study to a room. This had long been an idea, somewhere to scrap and another bedroom for staying over guests. I got the quote and he said, 'I can do it on Wednesday', hmmm well what is a girl to do? But say yes, so something that I had been ummming and ahhhing over was coming to fruition. (Can I tell you the state of the house is driving me insane, everything is everywhere, but my study, my retreat is looking beautiful and I will always remember that Elliott laboured to help make it happen.

I also revisited my past, I had been invited by Greg to go to Lake Eppalock. I used to camp there many years ago with my Mum and Dad and brother. It was always a pleasant memory in the background, the first place I caught a fish, the first place I skinny dipped, a place I always felt at peace. I was invited back over Easter, the lake now full of water. It was amazing, it felt like coming home, I can't explain how I felt, how my heart felt sitting out in the sunshine, the crisp cold air turning my breath to steam, watching the steam lift from the still, oh so very still lake and hear the birds talking in many languages, languages that only they could understand. The gum trees, the blue skies, the sound of the boats tearing up the lake, the colour of the water, the smell of the open fires, the laughter of children, the sound of 'Yeah she'll be right' as the tractor drove past readying for the race happening in the next week. The coffee in the mug in my hands was heating my hands, the caffeine kicking in and waking my sleepy eyes. The smell of bacon wafted up from my plate, something I am always greatful for is a cooked meal that I don't have to worry about. The quartz white rocks and the thousands upon thousands of leaves that scattered on the ground as if a new exotic shag pile carpet recently put down. Yes I felt I had come home.

I have also touched base with Chris. Chris and I went to primary school together, we were in grade 2 and 4 together, not best friends, because what girl and boy is best friends in primary school? But it has been truly amazing learning about the adults we have become, laugh about the mutual people we remember, giggle at the people we didn't remember, and just discover a new wonderful friendship that was never expected by either of us, but has become very precious to both of us. How is it that you can have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex and just click together, without it being what most people expect to happen between the opposite sexes? We are comfortable with each other, a lovely friendship over coffee, over dinner, over the phone, arguing, teasing, pushing, questioning, but I am so sad to say that he is.............a Collingwood supporter. That in it's self has meant that I have had to push aside a lot of feelings about the black and white, and discover the man beneath the stripes.

It has been a fantastic month, wonderful, challenging, social, and May is going to be even bigger, spending time with my girls, scrapping, laughing, drinking, crying, hugging and just being.

BRING ON MAY!!!!!